I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Ally and I
am 25yrs old. I live in a New England town with my
boyfriend, we shall call him “the boy”. We have been together for almost 3yrs (the
first 1 ½ were spent living on separate coasts)
I have always been over weight. I remember being in kindergarten
and knowing I was fat. I struggled with weight my entire life but it was not
till college that I truly tried to do something about it.
Freshmen year
September 2006
I went to school in a town were walking was the main form of
transportation. The school was also located in the mountains and it just so
happen to be at the top of a giant hill while most of the student apartments
were located at the bottom. Needless to say I was able to drop some weight just by going
to classes.
My sophomore year I started going to the gym and hiking with
my friends. I tried eating well but never denied myself treats and there were
plenty of alcoholic beverages consumed. I felt great and was gaining confidence.
I never weighed myself so I do not know exactly what I weighed at this point
but by senior year I loved how I looked in pictures and was feeling good about
myself.
May 2009
After college I moved to Arizona
to do a one year term with Americorps. It was the best and worst time of my
life. Living out west, helping those in need, meeting my now boyfriend, all the
life experience I gained was amazing. Unfortunately this was not all I gained.
I am guesstimating I gained around 70lbs while living in AZ and I felt awful. I
hated going out because of my weight gain, I was eating uncontrollably and by
the time I moved home two years later I was embarrassed for anyone to see me
and had reached 333lbs.
June 2010
I hit an all time low and vowed to make a change then and
there! I started eating less, and exercising on a daily basis. Before I knew it
I was down 30lbs! I still had a long way to go but I was on a roll!
Then the pain started. The pain of Gall Stones was the worst,
most excruciating pain I had ever felt. It took about 2 weeks to even discover
what was causing the pain because you never (or at least I never) heard of gall
stones! I had to wait a month before I could have the surgery and in that time
dropped 15 more pounds. I finally had the
surgery to have my gallbladder removed and it brought me down hard. I felt like
I was being punished for trying to get healthy. All the nurses and doctors kept
congratulating me for how much weight I lost but look where it got me.
After Surgery October 2011
After the surgery it was very hard to get back on track. I could
not lift or do any strenuous exercising and since my gall bladder was gone I had
the green light to eat anything I wanted. From October 2011 – May 2012 I had my
spurts of a week at the gym here and there and only salads for lunch. I had the
“Ill start Monday” attitude for at least four months. I even remember thinking maybe
I am just meant to be fat. Maybe this is my life and I was chosen to always
have to struggle.
I can not put my finger on a day or a reason why, but some
day in May of 2012 I decided I can loose weight, be comfortable and be happy
with myself. None of this diet crap. None of this working out six days a week
and splurging on my “cheat day.” That’s not how it works. I have heard it a
million times, “you have to make a life style change” but for some reason this
time it clicked! I can have the treat I like or the cheese I can’t live
without, in moderation and as long as I account for it.
That random day in May I decided to try Weight Watchers. No
meetings or paying online. My mom had done it a million times and thankfully
had all the supplies. I started logging my food adding up my points and bam I
started to loose. I discovered blogging and realized it was an amazing form of
motivation to read about people who are working at the exact same thing I am
working at. People going through the exact same things I am going through. They
have lost hundreds of pounds why cant I?
I can, and I will. I will shop at a “normal” clothing store.
I will sit in a chair and not worry about it being able to hold me up. I will not
be the fat friend in the group. I will accomplish things I never allowed myself
to believe I could ever accomplish and I will start living the life I have fantasized
about.
I have a family who supports me, a boyfriend who loves me no
matter what and the drive to keep me going for a life time.
I was not sure about this whole bloging thing but I know
many blogs I have read have inspired me, and if I can inspire one person to
believe in themselves then it is all worth it.
I am going to blog about my hard times and my good times
while on this journey and I hope it is at least kind of interesting, and I look
forward to the motivation from my fellow bloggers.
Since my new look on life I have lost 12lbs and I am 3lbs
away from my mini goal of 275 (the weight I was the day of my gall bladder
surgery). I have been setting small goals for myself every week and accomplishing
them feels amazing.
This past weekend I wanted to try running. I am aware it can
be dangerous for someone my size to put that much impact on my knees, but I started
by walking fast, jogging for a short time (25 seconds or so but felt like
forever) then walking again. I did it! I jogged a total of 4 times on a quite
dead end street and I was so proud of myself I could not believe it.
Yesterday I wanted to complete 2 miles in 20minutes on the elliptical
(I love the eliptical) and I did it! I shut that little voice up in my head,
turned up my ipod and I pushed as hard as I could. I did 2 miles in 19:35 and almost screamed for joy. I then proceeded
to stay on the elliptical for ten extra minutes.
I can feel it this time around that things are different. I don’t
know how or why but I just can, and I cant wait to accomplish my 2 miles in
20min again today!
