I didnt fall off the wagon, I jumped!

I have not written in a few days…anyone want to guess why? I screwed up… a lot. Last Friday I had done the Jillian Michaels extreme shed and shred and it kicked my ass. I made sure I still went to the gym on Saturday and did my full hour of cardio. I kept promising my family if I met my goal on Sunday of losing two or even one pound I would make my famous buffalo chicken dip. Well I didn’t lose anything. I weighed the same as I did last Sunday. I don’t know what happen but I went on a three day bender.  I still made the buffalo chicken dip, I had Chinese food for dinner Sunday night, and finished off the Christmas cake cookies my dad had made earlier in the week.

Monday I felt a cold coming on and nothing healthy seemed appetizing to me. I still counted all my food for the day but during work I went to the grocery store and bought string cheese and wheat thins.  String cheese was a huge binge item for me when I lived in Arizona. I am talkin’ I would eat  half a bag of it in one sitting. Well looks like I still cannot control myself because when I got back to work I slowly but surely ate half the bag of string cheese.

Last night was even worse. I still felt sick from a cold and I had to work 7am-8pm. I still packed and counted all my food for the day ahead of time. Well when I got to my second job I discovered a pork pie someone had brought in and the rest of my string cheese still in the fridge. Needless to say last night I went off the wall binge eating. Around 9pm I found myself standing in the kitchen eating left over buffalo chicken dip with the cabinet open looking for more food while I ate the dip. L It brought me down. I felt so low and disgusting.

BUT Today is a new day. I weighed in this morning and the scale shows a two pound gain from the last three days of trash I have put in my body. I got up early and did a work out video. It was hard and I know it is because my body is full of garbage. I got through it and prepared and counted all my food for the day. I seem to have these splurges here and there that totally screw with my head but I always come back up stronger, so I am not going to dwell on it. I do not see me meeting my Christmas morning goal of weighing in at 254 but the closer I can be to that number the happier I will be. Unless it is 255 then I will just be pissed! LoL.

I did this to myself and I will suffer the consequences but I know now I am no match for string cheese, and when I am feeling sick I need to suck it up!

Anywho I hope everyone else is doing well. I feel guilty and ashamed for writing this post, like I let everyone down, although it is really only myself I let down. I think the guilt I feel/felt is worse than the stomach aches I caused myself. But I also think it is important to be honest here so people going through the same things I am know that they are not alone. Everyone makes mistakes. There will be bad days and there will be great days but as long as I don’t give up, that is what is most important.

Holey Hard

Last night I slipped up a little and went over my calories because my father decided to try an “experiment”.

He saw a thing on T.V for these Christmas cake cookie things and o ma ghaa they are freaking delicious.

Christmas Cake Cookie

Anywho I had two of them and went over on my calories last night so I decided I would be sure to work it off this morning.

I purchased Jillian Michaels “Extreme Shed and Shred” over the summer, but up until this point I have only completed Level 1. The DVD has level 1, level 2, and she strongly suggests you do level one and level two one right after the other to make the work out last a full hour.

 

Holey hard. That bitch is INSANE. Half way through level two I was so tired but I did the best I could to finish. I ended up burning 510 calories and thought I was going to be pushed to work in a wheel chair today.

Like I always say I have a love hate relationship with Jillian as I am sure most people do, but today was pure hate. Although I do look forward to trying that full one hour again someday….someday. I will probably use that as “punishment” if I screw up again in the future.

I plan on hitting the gym hard after work again tomorrow and Sunday is my weigh in. I did not plan for my time of the month to make it’s appearance around Christmas time and I am nervous it will screw up my Christmas morning weigh in. I just realized it should be here any day now because I can feel my body acting weird like it usually does.  I need to be extra careful and not give into what my body will be craving. (Generally on the first day or two of my time of the month I indulge just a little in certain things.)

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend. I plan on watching polar express and cuddling by the Christmas tree.   J 

Things I have noticed...

Since I have lost weight I have noticed a few things I think differently about and a few things I do differently due to how I now think. I thought I would share some of those things because I want to make sure I am not the only one, or allow a fellow blogger to realize they are not the only one’s who may do some of these things.

 At the gym…

I use to choose the machines way in the back corners where no one would see me because I was embarrassed.

Now I do not care what machine I use and I am proud to be getting fit. I know now it is because I have used those machines that I am able to lose weight.

I use to make sure I wore black shirts to the gym because I was embarrassed when my sweat would be visible.

Now I am dam proud of that sweat and I wear all color shirts to work out in.

I use to not stretch at the gym because I was embarrassed to be bending over or of what people would think of me.

Now I love to stretch and I don’t give a shit what I look like.

I use to not run where people would see me.

Now I don’t care because I know I am getting healthy and doing what I need to do for ME.

In public…

I use to dress in cloths that did not attract attention. Baggy sweatshits, hair thrown up, no make up.

Now I take time to do my hair, I wear cloths that fit properly and I enjoy showing off my hard work. I like to try new styles and I am so much more confident.

If I were offered to sit in a chair that did not look like it would hold me I would refuse and say “I rather stand, I have been sitting all day.”

Now if I want to sit, I plop my fat ass right on down.

I use to not eat at big gatherings because I always felt I would be judged for what I was eating in public.

Now I know I have planned and earned my food consumption for the day and I realize no one really gives a shit what everyone else is eating.  

So basically in a nut shell, I have gained more self-confidence. I realize not everyone who looks in my direction is judging me. I project more confidence and in turn am able to see more positively because of it.
 

 

 

I was able to complete 65 minutes of cardio at the gym this morning and was thinking of all these things…just wanted to share. Happy Thursday everyone!

Sunday’s weigh in was 258 a loss of 2lbs. Only 4 more pounds to meet my Christmas goal! I am so happy. I ended up working 53hrs last week but I managed to stay completely on track with my food and I got in my three work outs.

I was nervous about working so much and having it effect my weight loss, and although it screws up my exercise time it forces me to do excellent with food. I just pack all my meals and snacks for the day, and when I get home from work it is late enough to go right to bed. This week is going to be crazy again with work but the week before Christmas will allow plenty of exercise time, which is awesome because I don’t know if I can lose 2lbs next week  AND the following week.

I am so proud of myself for sticking to the mini goal I set and I am realizing it was a great idea. I think if I can take things in small goals I will be able to meet my ultimate goal of weighing 200lbs by July 2013.

I got a few pictures back from the wedding I went to in Florida last month and when I saw them I did not even recognize myself. I can not believe how thin my face looks. Such an amazing transformation. J

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Any who I hope everyone is having a great Monday!! Till next time.

25_

Its not my official weigh in day but I peeked at the scale this morning and I saw 259! 259 I said 259!!!

I will be sure to report my official weigh in on Monday but I felt the need to share my amazing news!

Spoiler Alert

So I hate when I find out about a new food that is not good for me. I wish I still lived my life unaware of the delicious treats that surround me. I normally would not share the new candy I discovered but I have decided that if I can hold off until Christmas day then I will allow myself to indulge in this treat once I have met my Christmas goal. The new treat (new to me) is the peppermint heresy kisses. Who the heck comes up with this shit!? Not cool man, not cool.

Anywho, I didn’t have to work until 2pm today and I accomplished so much before work including a 45 minute workout at the gym. I was then able to prepare and count all my food for the day. Since my Sunday weigh in was my lowest recorded weight MFP cut my calorie intake.  My WW points however will not be cut down until I lost another ten pounds so this will be interesting.

I don’t have much to report today besides that I am feeling good, working hard and aiming for this week’s weigh in to show progress. Have a good day. .

Cheering for my team on Sunday.

 

Red Velvet Cake

I did not see the 25_ I was hoping to see on the scale yesterday. I did loose weight and I have recorded my lowest weight to date but I was sooo hoping for that 25_.

Saturday I stayed on point with food and I got in an amazing workout at the gym, completing 45 minutes on the crazy machine and 15 minutes on the bike. I had one small portion at dinner and I even passed on a red velvet cake roll at desert. I SAID A RED VELVET CAKE ROLL. Who makes these things?! I freaking love red velvet.

 

Anyways I was a little bummed at my weigh in because I worked so hard this past week but I have no doubt that if I work just as hard this week I will see the 25_. No doubt about it folks.

Today is Monday, and you know Mondays suck so that’s all I am writing for today. Till next time folks!

Flash Back

I found this picture of me from my Junior year of college. I had forgotten about this pic, but I remember feeling like I knew I looked great when the picture was being taken. Of course I knew I was fat but I felt good about myself. This picture was taken the fall of 2007. I vaguely remember this summer but I know I did work out often, and I tried to eat healthy mainly eating a lot of grilled chicken with pasta salad and veggies. I was not trying to loose weight as hard as I am now. I also know I partied my ass off this summer. Like I am talking 3-4 nights a week drinkin’ Bud Lights like water. Haha so I have no idea how I got to lookin’ so good.  I have no clue how much I weighed at this point and I wish I did know because I remember feeling really good about myself, and I would like to strive to beating that weight.

 

 

 

Oh well. I just gotta keep going and it will come. J I peeked at the scale this morning and I am down another pound. One more pound and I will see 25_. I have not yet seen a 25_ and I cant freaking wait! I am going to work very hard this weekend to make sure my Sunday morning weigh in is 25_.

I have a dinner date tonight AND tomorrow but I am vowing now NOT to drink any alcohol and I am not going over on my points or calories. If I cannot measure it out I am not eating it. Thankfully both dinner dates are at someone’s house and not a restaurant and they both know I am watching my food intake, so I am confident things will all work out. I work all day Saturday so measuring my food will be easy, and I am hitting the gym after work. This will make it my 4^th workout this week exceeding my goal of working out at least 3x’s a week, but I feel great this week and I like to work out. I also seem to eat better on the days I exercise.

I hope everyone is having a happy Friday!

Fashionable

Today is Thursday and I have worked out three days this week and been under on WW points and MFP calories all week. I weighed in this morning and thankfully I lost the 8lbs I gained over Thanksgiving weekend. I am actually one pound less then I was on Thanksgiving morning. I now have no doubt that if I can keep this up I will hit my Christmas goal. J

I did Jillian Michaels Shed and Shred this morning, Level 2.  Have I mentioned before how much I love that crazy woman. It’s a quick workout I feel it the next day, and I feel accomplished afterwards. It’s defiantly my go-to video.

 

I have to say -since I am feeling so good about myself I have been making time to look more fashionable/cute lately. I feel very feminine and I can’t help but smile when I look in the mirror lately.

This may sound conceded but I don’t care because before I started taking care of my body I use to dress like a slob. I used to throw on a sweatshirt and jeans and that was it. I never cared about matching, I never cared about my hair, I never cared about anything. I was just hiding behind whatever cloths felt comfortable, trying not to draw attention to myself. Well now that I am happy with how I look and I have been working so hard for my body, I am excited to show it off. 

I feel like I lived in these sweatshirts for years and years

My outfit today.


Have a great day everyone!   :-)

Mini Goal Under Way

Yesterday was day one of my Christmas challenge and I nailed it. I stayed on track with my WW points and MFP calories. I am going to do both “programs” like I did in the summer because that is when I had the best results.

This morning I did 45 minutes of cardio at the gym and I packed all my food for the day. I have to work the late shift tonight so I have my lunch, dinner, and snacks. I have already added up the points and calories and I am still under. J 

I have also taken the time to go through my calendar and schedule my workout days to ensure I meet my goal of working out at least three days a week.

I can feel it in my bones that I will meet this goal I have set for myself. I refuse to fail. The true challenge is going to be this insane work schedule I have ahead of myself for the month of December. But I know from experience that the key is planning ahead, and sticking to the plan. If I can do that, I will not fail.

I like to have a picture with each post and since I do not have anything that relates to this post I will share the adventure my cat had yesterday.

Till next time….

Cheech


 

 




Thanksgiving Goal Met!!

Thanksgiving was great. I got up early and did 45 minutes of cardio at the gym. Man was it busy with people lol. It was easy to zone out and get in a good workout because there were a lot of cool Thanksgiving shows on TV.  I do not feel I went overboard with food. I had a little bit of everything like I wanted and I only had a nibble here and there of desserts. I did however have another plate for dinner (our thanksgiving is at lunch time) and looking back I should not have done that.

Some of my family was not able to make it for Thanksgiving so that cut down my chances of someone noticing my weight loss and making a comment. Finally about an hour before everyone left my aunt told me I looked great. I was so happy because I thought for sure no one was going to say anything if they had not said anything by now. I can’t believe it. I just can’t. Meeting all these small goals just validates the hard work and makes going forward so much easier.  When I want to veer off track or question a workout, reminding myself of the upcoming goal really seemed to help this time around as Thanksgiving approached. If you read my blog daily you can get that hint when I mention my Thanksgiving goal multiple times.

 

This is how big my smile was when my aunt made her comment.

 

I will spend the rest of the weekend enjoying my time with family and on Monday its back to hard work. The month of December is a little hectic for me due to my work schedule (I have a few 13hr days this month :-/) but I would like to set a small goal for myself. I would like by Christmas morning to have lost 8lbs. That gives me exactly one month from today to loose 8lbs. I think I can do that. I will commit to working out a minimum of three days a week and sticking to weight watchers WITHOUT cheating or going over points. It is only one month. I can do this. I will do this. And on Christmas morning when I step on the scale and see I have met my goal, it will be the best present I could ever give myself.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Pre Thanksgiving

I am having anxiety about thanksgiving. I have been doing so well lately staying within my WW points and getting in some good workouts. Today and tomorrow I am going to try extremely hard to have minimal carbohydrates. I plan to have a little bit of everything on Thanksgiving but small portions. I am also planning to go to the gym in the morning or maybe for a walk/jog with my brother since it is supposed to be beautiful weather. If I can get in a good workout before the Thanksgiving meal I think I will feel better about the whole day.

 

I also wanted to mention that I saw a family friend who I have not seen in about two months. He and his wife commented on how good I looked and that he can really notice a difference in my face as far as weight loss. I figure if no one in my family makes a comment on my weight loss I can consider my family friend as counting for my “goal of someone noticing.”

 

This is a short one today but I do not have anything to really talk about. I went to the gym for an hour before work today, man do I love that crazy machine. I have been doing a lot of cleaning and preparing for Thanksgiving and I am looking forward to a couple days off. Family and Food (obviously) are my two favorite things!!

 

I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving.

What are your plans to stay on track this holiday? Any suggestions?

Overwhelmed by positive comments

Yesterday I changed my profile picture on face book to the picture I had posted on here where the caption states “I feel so fat in this picture but at least my make-up looks nice.”

 

When I went to bed last night I was scrolling on my Facebook and noticed I got 24 “likes” and 10 comments of people telling me how amazing I look. I was absolutely blown away. I have no other words but overwhelmed and blown away by the positive feedback.

So this morning when my alarm went off at 6:30 so I could wake up and exercise I started to talk myself out of it. (I have a rule where if I am trying to talk myself out of exercising in the morning for more than ten minutes then I have to get up and exercise, if I have been up for ten minutes then it is time to get up and do work.) As I am talking myself out of it this morning I was reminded of my Facebook picture and all the positive comments. I was also reminded of my Thanksgiving goal to have my family give me some positive feedback, and that Thanksgiving in only days away. Needless to say I have been up since 6:30 I got in a great work out with Jillian Michaels Shed and Shred and I feel great!

I peeked at the scale this morning and I am only one pound heavier then I was before vacation. My body is extremely happy with me this week for being back on track. I even made it to the gym last night after work.  Just as I thought I am also feeling the need to post more blogs since I am doing well. When I eat right and exercise it gives me things to write about.

I plan on hitting the gym after work tomorrow and possibly a Sunday morning walk (I loved doing those and have not done one in a long time.) My house also needs some extreme cleaning due to the fact I just got back from vacation and we have everyone coming to my house for Thanksgiving.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Post Vacation

Back from vacation. Man does it suck to come back to reality. Our hotel was beautiful, right on the ocean with free breakfast and free drinks from 5:30pm – 7:30pm EVERY night. We visited the boy’s family friends, we went to a beautiful country themed wedding, we spent one day on the beach and one day by the hotel pool. It was great.

I ate like shit the entire time, although the first night I was in Florida we were at a sports bar for dinner. I had my meal all ready to order for when the waitress came.  (I was drunk and craving a burger and wings and was going to order a cheese burger slider French fries and chicken wings.) Minutes before the waitress came a very heavy man came into the bar and I took it as a sign. I immediately changed my order to wings and a garden salad. I also did not have any dessert during vacation except for a sliver of cake at the wedding. My biggest down fall was alcohol. FREE DRINKS I said, how could I resist!?

I weighed in when I got home and I was up 8lbs. I worked out this morning and drank tons of water yesterday and I weighed in this morning and was down 2lbs.

Realizing Thanksgiving is a week away has slapped me into gear. I really want to have someone in my family notice I have lost weight and make a comment letting me know they notice. I have also recently found out I am going to be in my friend’s wedding in October 2013. I have never been in a wedding before and I will be f****** dammed if I am still uncomfortable with my weight at a wedding. I also cannot forget the ultimate goal of being 200lbs for my other friend’s wedding in July of 2013.

So there are multiple motivational factors fueling me right now. My food today is back to what I normally have and my schedule the next two weeks allows me work out time, so I have no excuses!

 

Below are a few pix of my vacation. I did not get to upload all of them yet my computer was being dumb last night, but you get the idea.

I think I look so fat here but at least my make up is nice lol.

Amazing ocean.

This is the view from my balcony, Are you kidding me!? LoL

 

Okay one more post before the weekend...

Tomorrow is the day I leave for Florida! I am so excited ESPECIALLY because we are expected to get snow this afternoon and into the night here in New England. It does not look like enough to effect my flight, but it will be enough to annoy me on the drive to Boston.

The weather in Florida is going to be in the 70’s and the temp here is in the 30’s so I am pumped to get outta here for the weekend!

I have been able to stay on track this whole week with food and I was able to squeeze in a work out video yesterday morning. I really do like exercising before work, I feel like it is a great way to start off the day. Getting out of my electric blanket an hour earlier than normal on the other hand is not so nice. BUT you gotta go the extra mile for the results right?! Right.

I have ultimately decided not to exercise while on vacation. Not only do I not have the room in my suit case for extra cloths and shoes, I also realized I will not have access to laundry nor do I want to have to worry about doing laundry. When I work out I like to work out hard. I like to sweat to the point where I deserve a shower and I do not want those sweaty cloths just hanging out with me until I come home Monday night. This paragraph can be interpreted as excuses and if I truly was committed to exercising on vacation I would deal, but I am not committed to it and I am not going to worry about it.

I normally only take one week vacation in July, so this trip is an extra bonus and I am going to enjoy it.  

Well I suppose that is all for today. I will post again after my vacation. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Back on the wagon.....for now.

Saturday I was able to stay on track with my food and I did two work out videos burning 347 calories. I was so sore all day Sunday but it was the soreness I love. I have missed it oh so much. My abs, my quads, my upper arms, everywhere was so sore but I love it.

Yesterday was Sunday so we had friends over to watch football like usual, and like usual there was mass amounts of unhealthy food. I started the day with an egg white omelet and grapes so I didn’t want to screw it up. I stayed on track all day. I measured out French onion dip with a tablespoon and instead of chips I cut up some cucumbers and peppers. I went to bed with 123 calories left and I feel in control again.

Today my food is healthy and I am feeling great.

Thursday the boy and I are heading down to Florida for a wedding. I am not making any false promises to myself regarding how I plan to eat. I am going to try and make healthier options but we are staying in a hotel so almost all meals will be take out :-/  . We all know, no matter how hard we try, take-out food is never really “good” for you. But I will do my best.

Our hotel does have a gym in it and I would love to work out, but I do not have enough space in my suit case for my sneakers or work out cloths. I suppose I could try to think of some way around this because I really would like to work out at least once while we are there.

Below is a picture of our hotel. I have only been as far as Orlando when it comes to the state of Florida, and the boy’s parents want to make sure I have a time to remember while I am back in his home town, so they booked the best of the best. It will be pricey but hey its vacation, money isn’t an issue on vacation....right?  (It’s when you get back to your “real life” you pay those consequences. LoL.)

 

 

The hotel in Florida Ill be staying at this weekend!

 

So I will probably not post again until after the trip, but I wanted to report that I have been going strong these past few days. I just need to remember how far I have come and remember I know what I need to do to keep moving forward. Only I can make this happen, and if I want it bad enough I will do what I need to do.

Have a great week everyone, I will be sure to post after the trip!

Have you missed me??

If anyone is still out there following me I apologize for my absence, but as we all know life happens. I have started my second job at a mental health center and I have been putting in about 50-60hrs a week between both jobs. I love the new job and I am learning a ton, but free time is scarce these days and I am sorry I have not been keeping up on posts.

Another reason for not posting very often is because there is not too much to report as far as my weight loss. The past few weeks I have only exercised a handful of times. I ended up with another cold one week after my first one.

 I have been making decent choices as far as what I am eating but I most defiantly have not been as on track as I could/should be. Even though my food consumption is not 100% the best it could be, I have still lost a few pounds. As of my last weigh in I am down to 261lbs. Making my total since May 29lbs. Making my total since I moved home from AZ 72lbs.  J

I have not been working on any of the goals from my goals page and my C25K running has been nonexistent. The weather is cold and gloomy here and work out videos have been my go to lately due to lack of time. My gym has gotten some new machines and nice flat screen tv’s though so I am pretty happy about that.

We survived hurricane Sandy last night and my part of New England did not get hit as bad as other places. The wind was scary and I did not like it one bit, but I know it could have been much worse and I am thankful we did not sustain any damages.

Another form of Mother Nature has blown through my life today and I am going to take it easy, but I plan on getting back on track a.s.a.p. If I can get my shit together right now I can still drop a few pounds before thanksgiving. And I am still hoping I have lost enough for my family to notice and let me know they notice that I have lost weight.  

I am not sure if I still have anyone reading my blog but if I do thank you for hanging on. I will try to write more often. If I can get my act together I will have more to write about, which in turn should force me to find more time to write.

Bye bye now.

Update & Flash Back

Update

Although I have not been the worst eater these past few weeks I have not been the best. I also have not exercised in the past 9 days.  Well today I am getting back on track for real. I have been eating mostly the same things I always do but with a few not so great meals here and there.  So this morning after packing my lunch for the day I wrote it all down and added up the weight watchers points, as well as added all the food to MFP app. My gym bag is packed for the first time in two weeks and I plan on hitting up the crazy machine after work today.

I have been training at my new job as well as still working full time at my current job. Waking up at 5:30am and not getting home till 8 or 9 at night is my reasoning for not exercising.  But this upcoming week my schedule is a little less chaotic and I am determined to fit in some morning work outs even if it’s just 3 or 4 a week. Any exercise is better than none!

Flash Back

I was hungry after work the other day and was thinking of something fast and easy for dinner.  For some reason Subway kept coming to my mind but I just can’t bring myself to eat it regularly.  Not that Subway is the worst option by any means, but when I lived in AZ I would get subway at least once a week sometimes twice. I would get a foot long BMT with all the veggies and cheese and avocado. I would also get two bags of chips (one bag for each half of sandwich) and a large soda. I would get home and get my plate and my napkins and find a comfortable spot on the couch. I would be sure to have a good show on T.V. before I began eating and off I would go.  I was so full and stuffed afterwards and not one bit happy.  The thought of my “eating subway ritual” makes me so ashamed and disgusted.  So ashamed and disgusted that I get sick thinking of eating that sandwich.  And I love subway but it just reminds me of how I got to be over 300lbs and I am so scared to go back there.

This mornings weigh in has me at 28lbs lost since May 2012. I know if I put in the hard work like I did all summer I will be able to drop more weight, but this cold weather makes it so dang hard! I was afraid this was going to happen too. With football season and all the fatty cheesy foods that go with that. Then the holidays and all the baked goods and casseroles that go with holidays. The cold weather and getting dark earlier at night. Ughh I am defiantly someone who is better at losing weight in the summer.

But that is too bad. I have a goal of being 200lbs or less by July 2013 and I am going to reach that goal. I am not going to fail. I am going to do the necessary work to blow all my friends and family away. Shit I am going to blow myself away!

 

Today is my first day back in full force and I am not screwing around! Although my insane schedule is not allowing me much blog time I assure you I am still reading all the blogs I follow and all your hard work and progress is motivating me every day. I will be sure to write again soon and thank you all for reading!

Three jobs!?!?

I am just so busy. I have been training for my new job as well as working my normal fulltime job AND interviewing for another job working with the state. On top of all that I have contracted a cold that is in full force today. Luckily my schedule today and tomorrow is simple, Friday on the other hand the madness continues.

I was able to wake up early Monday and get a work out in before work. Yesterday I had my gym bag to go workout after my full day of training but by the time my day ended my throat was on fire. This morning and tomorrow morning I was supposed to hit the gym before work but this cold is getting in the way for sure.

I am going to allow myself to relax with this cold and be sure to stay on track with my eating since I cannot work out. I weighed myself this morning and I am still at the same weight I have been for weeks now, but at least it is not going up. I would love to see the scale go down but I feel good and I am not gaining so that is important. I am also not working hard enough to make the scale go down so I cant be disappointed.

Sunday I am finally supposed to go on that hike I have been talking about since July? But now it looks like Sunday might rain. Ugh so annoying!

Anyway that is my short update. I am still able to keep up reading all the blogs I follow but when it comes to writing I do not have much to report.

Sorry for being so boring! Thanks for reading.  

My work space today.

Short update

I am doing well. Still maintaining the same weight on the scale but it has not got me down. I am still working out often and staying on track with WW points. I recently switched from doing both WW and MFP to just MFP, but it seems ever since I made that change I was not staying on track as much and I was eating unhealthier foods. I have decided to go back to doing both WW and MFP like I was when I started this whole thing. This week has been insane for me working full time and recently picking up a per diem job that I have began training. I am working 12hr days and my new job is about a 20-25 minute commute from my house.

I just wanted to check in and let folks know I am still doing well,  just very busy. I will be sure to write again soon, If I can ever find the time! LoL.

View from one of my new office buildings!!

My commute is North and boy is fall making it's apperance!
 

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

Doing good

Ah doing great.

Yesterday I did my walk/jog outside in some beautiful neighborhoods and dreamed about my future. I completed 60 minutes and burned 397 calories (my goal was to burn 400 calories) so I was happy.

I have recently picked up a second job and I just got the okay to start training next Friday. I am very excited because it is a per diem situation and I will be able to make my own schedule each month. I never thought I would take a per diem job but this one is with a great company and it is an excellent way to get my foot in the door. The only down fall is it is a 25 minute drive from my house. Most people are probably like “please 25 minutes that is nothing”   but my current dirve to work is 7 minutes and that is with red lights LoL. I also have a bit of an anxiety when it comes to driving far distances and/or on high ways.    :-/

It will be good though because this new job is in my field (my current job is far far from it) and once I am all trained and I can make my own schedule I will have all this extra income, which I desperately need.

I am nervous about how jam packed next week is going to be because it will be very difficult to make time for exercise but once I am done this post I am going to try and make a schedule and see where I can fit it in.

This week has been great as far as staying on track. My calories are under by 100-200 each night and I have been trying to burn about 400 during exercise. I peeked at the scale this morning and I am down 1lb from my last official weigh in. I NEED to stay on track this weekend because come weigh-in day (new weigh in day is going to be Sundays) I have to show some progress. I refuse to keep back pedaling. I have not lost anything in what I feel like is a month now.

Yesterdays work out was good and I went to bed with 200 calories left!

I did my cardio mix completing 15 minutes on each cardio machine ultimately burring 418 calories. My only issue is that I was nauseous, almost motion sick, on all the machines. It is so frustrating but I was able to get through and it was not so bad.  I tired focousing on something in the distance that was still (not easy at the gym when everyone is moving around) but the only thing perfect for that was the wall clock and I did not want to watch the time! LoL. I made it through and took it easy and felt good afterwards.

Today it is cool and partly cloudy so I am going to exercise outside today. (I am most likely going to do my C25K work out.) Diner tonight is not going to be the healthiest option (homemade mac and cheese with ham in it) so I want to make sure I do a full hour of exercise and burn around 400 calories again.

I am also meeting my friend this week and she is going to let me use her 5lb weights and return the 3lbs I have been using. So either this weekend or next week my strength training is going to increase. I am excited about that because I defiantly notice my arms having flabby loose skin. My arms have always been big and I am well aware someone my size is going to have A LOT of saggy loose skin, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I have never been self-conscious about my arms and they have gotten smaller and I thought I had prepared myself for loose skin but now that it is actually here I don’t like it.

It’s all good though I have already started saving for skin surgery. That will be my ultimate present to myself once I am at my goal weight    ;-)   I hope everyone is having a good day!

Not sure if you can notice an arm difference or not
October 2011 vs. August 2012

Thankful

Today I was reminded by a fellow bloggers post why I started this new way of life. I was reminded that I am not alone, these up’s and down’s and uncomfortable feelings are all a part of the processes.  I will have bad days, bad weeks, but I cannot forget how far I have come, how far I still have to go, and how hard I need to keep working. In the end it will all be worth it. It is already worth it.

I was in a funk and not feeling right or motivated this past week, but I think I have my mojo back. I was able to stay on track with my eating yesterday, and I am pumped up and ready for the gym this afternoon.  I have nothing planned this whole week or weekend that would sacrifice my calories and I feel if I can just stay on track for this one full week I will be so happy. I just need to take it small steps at a time. Short goals lead to long term bigger goals. My short term goal is to stay on track this whole week. Starting yesterday ending Sunday. 

I am toying with the idea of doing my cardio mix at the gym this afternoon. I think that would be the best option because it will keep things interesting and make time go by faster.

This is a short post but I thought it was important to be thankful for everyone else out there who writes about their weight loss. It truly does help me and I am glad I stumbled across this community.

Till next time…..

In a funk

Things have been going okay. Last week was an off week. I usually exercise 6 days a week last week I only did 5 days. My eating has been okay. I am trying to stay on track but a few days I blew it with one meal. I have gained 3lbs but I can’t be upset because I know how I gained it. I have just been in a little funk this whole past week. Today is Monday and I usually don’t exercises on Mondays but I feel like today I should. Even if it’s something small like a walk after diner? I don’t know. I have also discovered I am a weakling on Sundays for football (which I suspected would happen come fall) so I have decided that my weigh in days will now be Sundays so on Sundays I don’t have to stress about what I am eating and allow myself to have a relaxing Sunday. I still plan on exercising on Sundays but not on Mondays. So starting today Sundays will be my relax with food day and Monday will be my relax with exercise day. I will try this for a couple weeks and see how it goes.

In good news I was able to run for the full 60 seconds all ten times during my C25K work out yesterday. I am ecstatic but at the same time I knew I could do it ;-) .  I would like to do the training one more time completing the full 60 seconds all ten times before I move to the next stage which I believe is running for 90 seconds walking for 2 minutes.

Not sure when I will be able to do my C25K work out again, it is hard when the high school track is not available because school has started, but I am excited so I will make it happen.

Not too much to report other then I am in a funk. I truly feel I have lost my optimism but I plan on working extremely hard this week on my eating and sticking to my planned workouts.

Maybe I will read some of my old posts to try and boot my motivation.

Have a good Monday everyone!

E-Card

I thought some of you might like this.

The higher the fall the bigger the bounce.

That’s what they say isn’t it? After my dramatic evening Friday night I was able to stay on track with my food on Saturday. I also went to the gym Saturday after work. I did not have the best work out. I did 20 minutes on the crazy machine and 15 minutes on the bike. By the time I had been on the crazy machine for 15 minutes I started getting nauseous and almost like motion sickness (which has happened to me on the elliptical before.)  I decided to move to the bike which was much better. After my work out I just felt blah. I did not feel good at all.

Thankfully Sunday morning the blah feeling went away and I felt just fine. I decided to do my C25K training on the high school track. It was cloudy with a cool breeze….  absolutely beautiful outside.  The boy didn’t want to come with me so I was nervous but I surprised the shit out of myself. The first time it has you run for 60 seconds I was able to do it. The next two times I could not do it for more then 40 seconds. As am I kicking myself in the ass, this woman on the track passes me and I see she is doing a light jog. I thought to myself she actually looks kind of funny but she is still keeping her heart rate up and keeping her pace. So I said screw it I might look funny but I will give it a try. Wouldn’t ya know by just taking it a little bit easy I was able to run the full 60 seconds the remainder of the training. So for the first time ever I was able to jog 8 out of 10 times for a full 60 seconds. Was it easy? No. Did I feel amazing after? Yes. Was I so proud of myself I had the biggest smile a girl could have? Yes! It was so great.

The rest of my Sunday was spent relaxing with the boy watching football. I found a recipe for “skinny mozzarella sticks” and stayed on track with my calories all day.

I have decided to try only using MFP for the next two weeks and see how it works out.

Today was another amazing stepping stone that I did not expect. I have worked at a dealership/ retail store that has cloths that run fairly small and I have always had to buy the men’s sweat shirts because the women’s clothing is just ridiculous. They have “plus size” women’s clothing but even those are smaller and have always been too tight for me. Well today it is cold and I thought I would take a peek at the sweat shirts. I hated all the men’s ones and thought I was doomed. Then for shits and giggles I thought I will check out the women’s. I found two I likes and tried them on. A black one with pink gems and lettering fit me perfectly! I almost started crying in the bathroom. I have NEVER been able to fit into these cloths and now I have a pink and black hoodie!!! Ugh what an amazing feeling after such an emotional Friday night.

 

 

Sorry the mirror is super dirty in our staff bathroom

 

So overall it turned out to be a great weekend. Sundays run and today sweatshirt gave me the confidence I need to keep going. It has proven to me the hard work is paying off and I know if I keep going it will only keep getting better. I always hear people who have lost a lot of weight say how worth it the hard work is, and today I can finally say I know what they are talking about.  J I hope everyone else  had a great weekend and I wish you well on this Monday.

Fell off the wagon

So yesterday morning I wanted to do the C25K training. I have not been doing it the way it is intended, I more so have just been using it once or twice a week to change up my exercise routine.  I woke up not feeling so great and kind of light headed with a head ach. I ate some cereal and let myself wake up a bit and went for the jog/walk. The first 60 seconds of jogging I was able to do it, but every time after that I just couldn’t. My legs felt so heavy and I could not catch my breath. It was very humid outside and I choose to do the jog on Ohio Ave which has two small hills. (I am used to running on a flat track.)

Needless to say it was horrible, I felt horrible, and it really messed with my head. I quit the training with 13 minutes left to go and just walked home.

About 30 minutes after I got home I felt good, I mean I was still able to burn over 200 calories and what I did complete was still better then doing nothing right?

I was on point all day with my eating and was going to a friend’s house to hang out last night and I knew I wanted at least one glass of wine. Before I left I added up my WW points thinking I would be all set because MFP told me I still had tons of calories left. When I did the math I only had 1 WW point left over but MFP told me I had 250 calories left which would have been enough for 1 ½ glasses.

This annoyed me and I think I may be giving WW a rest and just sticking to MFP.  I feel MFP is a little more accurate and doing two programs can get tiresome sometimes.

Anyway between the bad run in the morning and the discrepancy between my food allowance I ended up drinking the entire bottle of wine, as well as multiple handfuls of pretzels, cheese and crackers, and a few chips and salsa. Oh and three beers.  I COMPLETLEY LOST CONTROLL. Once I was drunk I got very upset and I feel like I lost my spark. I have had such a positive attitude since May and I have not had any major setbacks. I know I was on point all day and it was really only a 5hr span of time that I went out of control, but it still brought tears to my eyes (the alcohol may had helped that happen).

I just feel like my head was in the wrong direction yesterday. I found myself having multiple thoughts yesterday about eating like I used to and not caring how many calories it was. I contemplated not exercising from the moment I woke up and started making excuses, which I can honestly say I have not done once since May.

All in all yesterday was a horrible day mentally for me and I am so thankful we all get second chances. I woke up this morning telling myself we all make mistakes. It is not the setbacks that define us, it is what we do after the set back. If you fall down, all that matters is what you do next. Do you stay on the ground and say screw it, or do you get up wipe yourself off and say I am ready to go again. I know my hard work for the past four months is not down the shitter just because of one bad night and I plan on working very hard to get back on track.

I am making a goal to not have any alcohol for a full two weeks. Alcohol is defiantly a problem for me, because once I have a nice buzz on I want to eat everything,  on top of the unnecessary calories I am consuming from the booze I add all those salty fatty snacks on top of it and that’s just bad news  bears.

I wanted to write this post to show I am just as human as everyone else and we all have bad days. I also wanted to write this to hold myself accountable for my actions last night and document my feelings so I can read back on this and know I don’t want to be in this place again.

I am working today so all my food is here and it is all my usual foods. I also plan on doing 30-45 minutes on the crazy machine at the gym.  No cheating tonight and NO DRINKING. Tonight is college football and tomorrow is the first Sunday for the NFL. I am a HUGE football fan and this will be tough, but I think last night really helped smack my ass into shape and I will be able to stay strong this weekend.

Sorry for such a long post but thank you for reading.

Have any of you had a major setback or a horrible day of eating that was unplanned? What did you do, what were your thoughts or feelings when this happened?

I's got's a new bed!!

 DISCLAIMER:  I am not good at writing and my thoughts and flow can sometimes be all over the place so bare with me.

Ally here writing from my new king size bed! The boy and I have been talking about getting a new bed for about 4 months now and Sunday we finally went out and did it. I spent a little bit more then I would have liked but I think I made a good purchase. I guess I will let chya know in the morning.

My scale decided to take a crap so I also bought a new scale on Sunday.  I have lost 2 more pounds this week and I couldn’t be happier. I did my C25K on Saturday after work with the boy and lets just say he needs to come with me all the time! The first time I tried it I could only jog for 30 seconds. With the boy I was able to make it the full 60 seconds 10 out of 13 times. It was awesome.  On Sunday morning I tried my new Jillian Michaels DVD and yes you guessed it……that woman is INSANE. It was a little fast paced for me and the moves are weird, but she repeats them and is good about explaining how to do them. I did like it and I will be doing it again after work tomorrow.

I am still noticing I am not as hungry as much throughout the day and since this is almost two weeks I am going to say for sure its cause my stomach shrunk   J.   I also caved and bought 3 new shirts this weekend because lately I have been swimming in my cloths and could not stand it anymore. I also had to make a hole in my belt.  I know this is all good things and this is what I am aiming for but now that I just bought this bed I really don’t have money for new cloths. Cooler weather is right around the corner though and I am anxious to see how my fall/winter cloths fit me this year.

:::WARNING::: I am about to get mushy.

Before I had my epiphany in May I had a thought. That thought was “maybe I am just meant to be fat, maybe this is the path that was chosen for me, maybe this is how I am supposed to live my whole life…struggling”.  I had told myself last winter if summer comes and I cannot fit into all the cloths I keep saving I am throwing them away. Well April came and I was still too big for my cloths, I had a break down and threw all kinds of shit away. Looking back now I am pissed I did that because those cloths were cute! But I think I needed to do that, I think reaching that point was my bottom and it helped me turn my ways around.  Now I wish I had hoarded just a little longer because I need a whole new wardrobe, but I wouldn’t change how far I have come. I still can’t believe I have stuck with it this long. I still have just as much motivation and determination as I did when I started this whole thing in May. I still really feel it this time around. Something is different this time, I have a whole new outlook on my life style. Knowing my limits are endless and my progress will go as far as I take it makes me excited and scared all at the same time. I am so proud of myself it brings a tear to my eye and my only hope is that someone struggling with weight loss can have the epiphany I had and turn their world around.  I am so pissed I let myself miss out on so much my whole life, all for food.

I only intended this post to be about my new bed but I got a little mushy there for a second.  My reason for blogging is to track my progress and inspire others. I only hope I can help someone feeling as lost and helpless as I used to feel.

Off to my new bed, I will let you know how she feels!