Here goes nothing

I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Ally and I am 25yrs old. I live in a New England town with my boyfriend, we shall call him “the boy”. We have been together for almost 3yrs (the first 1 ½ were spent living on separate coasts)

I have always been over weight. I remember being in kindergarten and knowing I was fat. I struggled with weight my entire life but it was not till college that I truly tried to do something about it.

Freshmen year 

September 2006

I went to school in a town were walking was the main form of transportation. The school was also located in the mountains and it just so happen to be at the top of a giant hill while most of the student apartments were located at the bottom. Needless to say I was able to drop some weight just by going to classes.

My sophomore year I started going to the gym and hiking with my friends. I tried eating well but never denied myself treats and there were plenty of alcoholic beverages consumed. I felt great and was gaining confidence. I never weighed myself so I do not know exactly what I weighed at this point but by senior year I loved how I looked in pictures and was feeling good about myself.

May 2009

After college I moved to Arizona to do a one year term with Americorps. It was the best and worst time of my life. Living out west, helping those in need, meeting my now boyfriend, all the life experience I gained was amazing. Unfortunately this was not all I gained. I am guesstimating I gained around 70lbs while living in AZ and I felt awful. I hated going out because of my weight gain, I was eating uncontrollably and by the time I moved home two years later I was embarrassed for anyone to see me and had reached 333lbs.

June 2010

I hit an all time low and vowed to make a change then and there! I started eating less, and exercising on a daily basis. Before I knew it I was down 30lbs! I still had a long way to go but I was on a roll!

Then the pain started. The pain of Gall Stones was the worst, most excruciating pain I had ever felt. It took about 2 weeks to even discover what was causing the pain because you never (or at least I never) heard of gall stones! I had to wait a month before I could have the surgery and in that time dropped 15 more pounds.  I finally had the surgery to have my gallbladder removed and it brought me down hard. I felt like I was being punished for trying to get healthy. All the nurses and doctors kept congratulating me for how much weight I lost but look where it got me.

After Surgery October 2011

After the surgery it was very hard to get back on track. I could not lift or do any strenuous exercising and since my gall bladder was gone I had the green light to eat anything I wanted. From October 2011 – May 2012 I had my spurts of a week at the gym here and there and only salads for lunch. I had the “Ill start Monday” attitude for at least four months. I even remember thinking maybe I am just meant to be fat. Maybe this is my life and I was chosen to always have to struggle.

I can not put my finger on a day or a reason why, but some day in May of 2012 I decided I can loose weight, be comfortable and be happy with myself. None of this diet crap. None of this working out six days a week and splurging on my “cheat day.” That’s not how it works. I have heard it a million times, “you have to make a life style change” but for some reason this time it clicked! I can have the treat I like or the cheese I can’t live without, in moderation and as long as I account for it.

That random day in May I decided to try Weight Watchers. No meetings or paying online. My mom had done it a million times and thankfully had all the supplies. I started logging my food adding up my points and bam I started to loose. I discovered blogging and realized it was an amazing form of motivation to read about people who are working at the exact same thing I am working at. People going through the exact same things I am going through. They have lost hundreds of pounds why cant I?

I can, and I will. I will shop at a “normal” clothing store. I will sit in a chair and not worry about it being able to hold me up. I will not be the fat friend in the group. I will accomplish things I never allowed myself to believe I could ever accomplish and I will start living the life I have fantasized about.

I have a family who supports me, a boyfriend who loves me no matter what and the drive to keep me going for a life time.

I was not sure about this whole bloging thing but I know many blogs I have read have inspired me, and if I can inspire one person to believe in themselves then it is all worth it.

I am going to blog about my hard times and my good times while on this journey and I hope it is at least kind of interesting, and I look forward to the motivation from my fellow bloggers.

Since my new look on life I have lost 12lbs and I am 3lbs away from my mini goal of 275 (the weight I was the day of my gall bladder surgery). I have been setting small goals for myself every week and accomplishing them feels amazing.

This past weekend I wanted to try running. I am aware it can be dangerous for someone my size to put that much impact on my knees, but I started by walking fast, jogging for a short time (25 seconds or so but felt like forever) then walking again. I did it! I jogged a total of 4 times on a quite dead end street and I was so proud of myself I could not believe it.

Yesterday I wanted to complete 2 miles in 20minutes on the elliptical (I love the eliptical) and I did it! I shut that little voice up in my head, turned up my ipod and I pushed as hard as I could. I did 2 miles in 19:35 and almost screamed for joy. I then proceeded to stay on the elliptical for ten extra minutes.

I can feel it this time around that things are different. I don’t know how or why but I just can, and I cant wait to accomplish my 2 miles in 20min again today!